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4 Things to Do Instead of Watching the Melbourne Cup

October 25, 2016

Well, the Melbourne Cup is officially a week away, and we can all admit to being fully stoked about having a day off work…but, let’s face it, we’re a little less stoked about the whole “horse cruelty” thing. So here are some better ways to spend your day off next week:

RACE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD

Photo via Pinterest.

Photo via Pinterest.

Make your friends race around the block. Race your significant other to the couch.┬áHeck, break out the 64 and throw a Mario Kart tournament. Don’t forget to place your bets!

HAVE A FANCY HAT PARTY
(AND TAKE COLLECTIONS FOR A HORSE CHARITY)

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Photo via Pinterest.

Who said grown adults have to whip horses around a track in order for us to put ridiculous things on our heads and day-drink? Break out the mimosas, we say! Any excuse will do, quite frankly.

BET ON EVERYTHING…YES, EVERYTHING

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Photo via Disney.

Remember the TV show Ed? No? Nobody does, but it ran from 2000-2004, it centered on the life of a humble bowling alley lawyer, and more relevantly, it featured a running joke where Ed (the aforementioned and titular bowling alley lawyer) and his best friend Mike would bet each other ten dollars to do ridiculous things, from drinking an entire bottle of syrup to impersonating an ostrich. (You can watch them all on YouTube, if you’re so inclined.) This Melbourne Cup holiday, channel your inner Mike and/or Ed, and make your friends do dumb things for money. It’s what the horses would want.

BAKE A CARROT CAKE

Photo via Pinterest.

Photo via Pinterest.

Horses….carrots…get it? Well, whatever. Like we need an excuse to eat cake. We’ve road-tested this recipe, and it’s damn good.

So, what do you reckon? Have we inspired you to steer away from the racetrack and force your friends to do stupid stuff for money yet? Good. Now, if anyone needs us, we’ll be honing our Mario Kart skills.